One day your entire life changed when you were put in charge of caring for another life. There are often certain pressures to be the perfect mother. This is common and may occur suddenly or during various phases of your kids’ lives. We understand the transition to becoming a mother is a vulnerable experience, both physically and mentally. It is only natural for you to want to do the best you can. Perfectionism can make you feel like a failure every day because you are not meeting the expectations you set for yourself, or that society seems to set.When asking different Mothers what the Perfect Mother embodies, plenty of characteristics were highlighted, so the standard definitely IS different. There is beauty in this. What works for my home, may not necessarily work for your home.
Here is our advice for combatting the need to be the perfect Mother:
- Make Peace with the Past: Sometimes something we lacked growing up is what we want to give our children so they “can have a perfect childhood,” or something we wished we had.
- Avoid Social Pressure: Sometimes we look at our friends or others on social media and tell ourselves a story of what their lives may be like and – therefore – assume they are perfect.
- Take Care of Yourself First: If your cup is empty, you are unable to pour love and support into others. There is no harm in taking steps to ensure you are in a good physical and mental space. You are then able to conquer the world – with your kids by your side. Have a look at a few tips we have provided in our previous blog Mom, Put Yourself On Your To-Do List!
- Create a List: Reflect on memories and note which experiences have brought a smile to your kids’ faces. Yes, kids and their preferences change over time but a small gesture will go a long way. Communicate with your kids and add experiences or memories to your list that they have enjoyed.
- Look for the Good: We are all trying our best at this thing called life. There are certain pressures kids face in their lives. Make it your mission to affirm their good qualities and appreciation for the little things they do around the house. This will build a good relationship between parent and child. It will also decrease the chances of being shut out from your kids’ lives (which may make you feel like you are not the perfect Mother).
As a mother you carry your children forever in your heart so forgive and love yourself and that way you are free to show your children how much you love them.