…this has been the theme of my life for the last 3 months.
Having purchased a property towards realizing our dream of a wellness Centre some 10months ago – little did my husband and I realize that in renovating the property, we ourselves would be breaking down and rebuilding aspects of our relationship and ourselves.
Its as though, each wall that was smashed down at the Centre, revealed a piece of me that was nicely bricked up inside. And once that piece was dislodged there was no way I could squeeze it back, it wouldn’t fit no matter which cement I used. I had to look at it, declare it ‘useless’ right now, acknowledge that it served a significant purpose previously but now needed to be replaced – upgraded! And find the correct dimension, colour, material to replace it.
Wow! Processing and shifting all the way….
So while ‘Wellness on Alon’ has been in the birthing process – I feel an intense 3 months later (with the finish line in sight) – I too have been rebirthing!
I lie here in my bed mentally fatigued, emotionally exhausted and physically damaged!
It was just two days ago that I twisted an ankle at the building site – that brought me to a dead stop and forced me to look at my battered and bruised foot, my unkempt hair, my sunburnt skin and more importantly the woman in the mirror whom I just don’t recognize well enough anymore. I was forced to truly ‘see’ her and take the time to familiarize myself with her new and improved ‘spaces’ and also patiently mourn away the too-familiar aspects of her (whether they were needed or not), that were comforting, and now refurbished.
Change my friends, is the order of the day. It seems like the last quarter of 2018 is all about software upgrades coming quick and fast and then trying to get the hardware that seems a bit outdated to adjust to the software upgrades.
So right now, I’m thanking my weak ankle- and for me its about pausing… pausing to integrate the new aspects of myself, getting myself familiarized with all my changes and appreciating the smell of the new leather. I choose to do this and be patient and gentle with myself – surrounding myself with loved ones and nature- all who feel privileged to support me.
‘The Universe conspires with you’